


The Badger and the Snake, or Rather the Lion and the Llama (Phan)

by Sammi_Doll483



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Phan, dan and phil
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7587820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammi_Doll483/pseuds/Sammi_Doll483
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil have been best friends since they were born, but what happens when they arrive at Hogwarts and are put into separate houses? This story is set at the same time as Harry Potter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first pic please be nice

The two boys had been together their whole lives. They were born six months apart, the younger in June and the older in January. Their moms had been best friends all their lives, so naturally their children, Daniel James Howell and Phillip Michael Lester, would be so too. The two boys had been playing together since they were in diapers and become inseparable since that first playdate. Whenever Dan cried, Phil did too. Whenever Phil watched t.v., Dan did too. Whenever one did anything, the other followed without question (thankfully, Dan and Phil only lived a few blocks from each other, so they didn't have to go too long without playing with each other). So, obviously, when they were both six years old and Phil's mom told him he was a wizard, he told Dan. Immediately after, they ran to Dan's house to ask his mom if he was one too.

"If you're not a wizard," Phil said, panting from all the running they did, "then I don't wanna be one either." Thank goodness Dan's mom said he was one too. Phil thought wizards were really cool.

For the next five years, the two boys started practicing all the magic they were allowed to do, and obviously, they did it together. They learned how to turn things different colors, how to make things levitate (albeit a foot off the ground, but still), and even how to fly around on a broomstick (Dan's mom told them about a game she played in school called Quidditch, but she wouldn't teach them how to play).

When Dan's letter to Hogwarts arrived in the mail, he ran to Phil's house to show him; only to have Phil wave a nearly identical card in his face. Both boys were ecstatic that they would be able to go to wizard school together.

The boys' mothers took them to Diagon Alley later that week, and the two bought matching sets of every thing they needed. At the end of their shopping extravaganza, the boys only had two things that didn't match, the first being their wands (Dan's was 12 inches long, made of cedar and with a dragon heartstring at its core, Phil's was 12 inches as well and made of alder wood with a phoenix feather at its core), the second being their pets. Although both boys chose owls, Phil chose a white Snowy owl, which he named Buffy, and Dan chose an almost completely black Barn owl, which he named Sonic. The two boys bounded happily out of Diagon Alley with all their new, magical loot, and to the laughed all the way to the car, their mother reminiscing quietly behind their sons.

Two weeks later, the same four were at King's Cross Station and each boy's mother was showing him how to get to Platform 9 3/4. After a moment of fear, and a few tears (though none of them would admit it), the boys just did as they were told and were onboard the Hogwarts Express before they knew it, waving goodbye to their mothers as the train pulled out of the station. While on the train ride, Dan and Phil made a few friends (Cat, PJ, and this kid who called himself Crabsticks, and a few others whose names Dan can't recall), and thankfully, no enemies. The group chatted among themselves about which house they were hoping to get into. Dan's mom had told him how both herself and Phil's mom had been in Gryffindor and how their greatest rivals had been the Slytherin (apparently this guy Malfoy had given them all a tough time). Almost everyone in their new little group wanted to be in Gryffindor, some Ravenclaw, and a Hufflepuff, but none wanted to go to Slytherin. They then started talking about what they were gonna do once they got there. They continued chatting like this for the rest of the journey, which seemed like it took an eternity. It was night by the time the train stopped moving. Once they arrived at the famous Hogwarts, a very tall, large, and hairy man by, apparently, the name of Hagrid led them over to a lake with dozens of boats.

Both boys already assumed what they were going to have to do and dreaded it. Once safely inside the vessel (after nearly falling out once, maybe twice), it started gliding across the dark lake smoothly. In minutes they reached the large castle-like school. After they all clambered out of the boat, they were lead to a room inside and told to wait for further instructions. They were passed through into a huge dining chamber they were told was called the Great Hall. Four large tables with students clad in the distinct colors of their house were all waiting patiently. A stool was placed in front of the teacher's table, and atop of the stool was an old, brown hat. Moments later, it began to sing a song (it called itself the Sorting Hat). Once the hat was done singing, the headmaster said a few "encouraging" words and the Sorting Ceremony had begun.

The first named called was David Afton, _RAVENCLAW_! The hat kept going until finally Dan's name was called.

"Daniel Howell," said the teacher from next to the stool, a stern-faced, older witch. He looked at Phil and smiled, trying to put on a brave face, "See you at the table," he said before walking up the steps to where the Hat lay.

He sat down on the stool, his long legs allowing him to still have his feet somewhat on the ground. The teacher carefully laid the Hat on his head, and it started talking to itself, much to Dan's surprise, in his head.

_"Hmmm, smart, sarcastic, a loner, but yet, rather kind. Well, more sarcastic than kind, and more smart-mouthed than smart. You don't really like people much do you? No, you don't. Yes, I know, I'll put you in-"_

_"SLYTHERIN!"_ The hat yelled aloud, and the green table to his far left cheered.

Dan was shocked, to say the least. So shocked, in fact, that he couldn't move himself from the stool. He sat there form a moment, mouth open in surprise. The teacher who put the Hat on his head said something along the lines of "Move along now," and gently shoved him towards the stairs. Head down, he walked numbly over to the Slytherin table and sat down, ignoring the pats on the back.

How could he have gotten into the worst of the houses? Why was he sitting with the people who were more than likely going to go evil one day? Was he going to turn into a Dark Wizard? Was he already evil? _No_ , he thought to himself, _no I'm not_. He continued deep in thought, trying to convince himself that he wasn't going to turn out horrible when something made him snap back into reality.

"Phillip Lester," called the witch. How could he have forgotten about Phil?! He was so deep in thought that he hadn't remembered that his best friend had yet to be Sorted. Phil walked up the steps and plopped down onto the stool, clearly nervous. The Hat was placed upon his head. _Well,_ thought Dan, _the bloody Hat was wrong about me, maybe it'll put Phil in here too_. But no sooner had the Hat touched Phil's head had it made up its mind.

 _"HUFFLEPUFF!"_ It yelled, causing the yellow table next to them to cheer loudly. Phil looked over to Dan, eyes wide with a mixture of expressions. Dan just looked back, not sure what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part of this fic, hope you all enjoy :33

How could Dan and his best friend be separated?! This couldn't possibly be happening! It had to be a nightmare. Dan shut his eyes and pinched his arm hard, until he was almost sure it would bruise. 

Instead of waking up, he was just holding back tears of not only sadness, but also pain. 

When Dan looked back up, Phil had already sat down at his table. He, unlike Dan, greeted his fellow housemates and smiled when welcomed. 

At a glance, he looked happy. Any random bystander would've described the look on Phil's face as happiness, joy, even, but Dan knew Phil better than that. He knew that the boy was putting on a brave face, trying to power on though he was no doubt as terrified and sad as Dan.

When he finally looked over and made eye-contact, Dan couldn't think of anything comforting to say to his friend. So instead, he simply apologized.

" _I'm so sorry,_ " Dan mouthed to Phil. He gave Dan a small smile.

" _It's not your fault,_ " he replied with a sad shrug.

Dan was going to say something back, but a thin, blonde-haired boy sat down in front of him, blocking his view of Phil. Dan tried craning his neck in a feeble attempt to get a view of Phil again, but the blonde kid's bulky friends flanked him, blocking the view of the yellow table almost completely.

"What are you doing?" Asked the blonde kid across from him, sneering. Dan huffed annoyedly and rolled his eyes.

"I'm trying to talk to my friend," he gestured at the Hufflepuff table, "so if you don't mind, could you please move a little?" Dan asked. Instead of being helpful at all, blondie stayed in the exact same spot, smirking infuriatingly. 

"Really?" Dan raised his eyebrow at him. 

Blondie just shrugged, the stupid smirk still on his stupid face. Dan rolled his eyes again and crossed his arms over his chest. Why wouldn't this idiot let him look over at the other table? Why did he and Phil have to be put in different houses? Why did he have to be sorted into the worst possible house? Just, why?

Dan settled on watching the rest of the Sorting angrily, sneaking glances across the table to see if blondie had moved at all.

Nope.

The Sorting was over in no time, and then dinner was served. The tables all filled with all kinds of mouth-watering food. Dan's stomach growled, but the butterflies fluttering around in there made it impossible for Dan to have anything more than a buttered roll and some pumpkin juice. Dan sat there, too awkward and shy to really talk to any other Slytherin student; however, based on the conversations he was hearing, he didn't want to talk to any of the other students. Blondie had tried to communicate a few more times throughout dinner, but Dan completely ignored him, not that he seemed too fazed by it. Dinner was over after what seemed like an eternity had passed, and the Headmaster, an old wizard by the name of Dumbledore with a flowing silver beard and robes, gave a speech (Dan wasn't really paying attention though) before sending them off to their individual dormitories. Slytherin's was apparently in the dungeons, and that was great for Dan, considering his fear of things in the dark and all.

Life was just _great_.

Luckily, the heads of the Hufflepuff and Slytherin houses lined their respective students up next to each other and took a bit of a similar route to the dormitories. Dan found Phil almost immediately.

"Phil!" He called, throwing his arms around his best friend who hugged him back just as excitedly.

"Hey Dan! How are you holding up so far?" He asked. Dan just scoffed and dropped his voice to a whisper.

"I can't stand any of the idiots in my house, what about you?" 

"I've actually made some friends already," Phil said sheepishly and he introduced them to Dan (a boy named Troye with brilliant blue eyes, a girl named Louise who was very sweet, and a girl named Zoella who was insanely pretty).

On the outside, Dan was nice enough, smiling and shaking their hands; on the inside, however, Dan wasn't paying attention to any of the people he was introduced to. _Phil had already made friends? Would those friends replace me? They probably will, won't they? They're in the same house as Phil, which means the they're probably more like him and he'll probably prefer them over me. What if I lose him? I can't lose my nest friend, I just ca-_

"Dan? Dan!" He was so stuck in his mind, he hadn't noticed Phil was talking to him.

"Hmm, what? What is it?"

"The rest of your house is going that way," he said and pointed to the right. Dan look over and surely enough, a group of green clad students were descending a flight of stairs. Dan turned to follow them, but he felt a hand on his shoulder stop him, turn him around, and pull him into a tight hug.

"You'll be ok, Bear, I promise," Phil whispered in his ear before letting go. Dan smiled at the silly nickname Phil used, then turned and ran to catch up with the rest of his house, a smile still on his face.

"Is that the person you were trying to talk to earlier?" Asked an already annoyingly familiar voice. Blondie, who Dan learned was named Draco, strode up along side with his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, flanking him.

"Yeah, it was," Dan replied, the smile still on his face, and was determined to keep it there too, dammit.

"What, is he your boyfriend or something?" Draco sneered, making Crabbe and Goyle chuckle.

"He's not my boyfriend," Dan replied quickly, a blush rising in his cheeks. His smile faltered and he looked away.

"Oh lookit, the queer's blushing," Draco laughed as he pushed his way in front of Dan. Goyle gave Dan a hard shove which made him trip into the group of older girls next to him. One them screamed loudly before shoving Dan away yelling profanities at him.

Dan stood there in shock and embarrassment, his face turning cherry red as he tried to sputter out an apology.

"Um excuse me, he was pushed into y'all, no need to be so nasty," someone with an American accent said from behind him. Suddenly, a boy a few inches shorter than Dan with light lavender hair stood between him and the older kids, hip cocked to the side and arms akimbo.

"Are you talking to me?" Said the girl with an incredulous look on her face.

"Yes, I'm talking to you sweetheart, you have no right to yell at him like that, so leave him alone," he grabbed Dan's arm and dragged him along, throwing a peace sign behind his back, "Dubai basic bitches!" 

"Oh my God, what have you done," Dan whispered furiously, scared of attracting more attention to them. The girl had begun ranting loudly about how stupid first years are and how they'd pay for what they said.

"I just saved your sorry ass, you're welcome," said the boy, and Dan noticed he had a slight lisp. "My name's Tyler by the way, Tyler Oakley. Just in case you couldn't tell, I'm from America; my parents moved us over here when they were hired at the Ministry," Tyler explained, leading them through the door of the dungeon and to the dorms. A tall man with greasy black hair and a hooked nose stood at the entrance and supervised. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked annoyed. Dan avoided eye contact at all costs.

"That's Professor Snape, the head of our house," Tyler whispered to Dan. Seemingly at the mention of his name, Snape's eyes darted over to Dan and Tyler, both of whom hauled-ass to the dorms.

Just as Dan imagined, Slytherin's common room and dorms were all very dark, and full of green lights and knick-knacks.

Well, what else would you expect from a dungeon?

"Wait, how do you know where to go?" Dan asked as Tyler weaved them in and out of the throngs of students already gathered in the common room.

"I asked one of the older students, Lilly I think her name was, I don't know. She told me to call her Superwoman?" he replied, as they arrived in their room. There were four beds in this room which meant they'd have to share with another two roommates. The first thing Tyler did was drag his trunk to the bed he wanted, which was the one in the far left corner.

"Alright, well, my name's Dan, and thanks for saving me back there," Dan said, placing his trunk in front of the bed next to Tyler's.

"No problem," he laughed and started digging through his now open trunk.

"Tyler," Dan said, to which he just got a grunt in response, "when we walked away from those girls, why did you say Dubai? Isn't that a place in, like, India, or something?" Tyler just laughed.

"Yeah, but I didn't find that out until a little bit ago and I had already been saying Dubai for a while by then. Do you get it though? Du-BYE. As in good-BYE," Tyler explained animatedly. Dan laughed in spite of himself. 

"Alright, that makes more sense," he replied throwing himself on his bed. He and Tyler chatted for another while before the other two came in. One was named Caspar and the other Joey. Caspar instantly warned them of his seriousness when it came to pranks, and Joey told them of his fascination with crystals and his dogs, Wolf and Storm.

Oh yeah, Dan and Tyler would be fine with these two.

It took a while, but Dan gradually came more out of his shell as the night wore on. The four boys talked and joked quite a bit before deciding to got to bed. They had their first official magic lessons tomorrow and they couldn't be half asleep for them.

Once the lights went out, Dan lay awake, smiling slightly. Well would you look at that, he'd made few friends too.

No one would ever be able to replace Phil though. After tossing and turning for a good hour and with thoughts of his best friend, Dan fell into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have no excuse as to why it took me over a year to update. I'm soooooo sorry. Anyway, the boys are now at the beginning of their 6th year at Hogwarts, and I may not have the schedule completely accurate with what it was in the books.

"Mr. Howell, do you care to join us again in the real world, or are you content in your little dream world?" Dan jolted awake.

Severus Snape was glaring at him from the front of the room, and the other students were all snickering. Great, he'd fallen asleep again, but it wasn't his fault that all the teachers decided to give an arse-load of homework the night before. That coupled with Quidditch practice and astrology class at ungodly hours of the night, it was all too much! It barely allowed any time for sleep, let alone a social life (not that Dan even really has one of those). Why Dan thought it was a good idea to willingly take so many classes, he'll never know. What he does know is that he was struggling, a lot.

"He's probably dreaming of that blue-eyed softie again," muttered Vincent Crabbe, who was sitting next to him. Since there was only two students allowed to a table, Malfoy and his brutish cronies had been split up and Dan, being as unlucky as he is, had gotten stuck with the odd man out of their group.

Instead of retaliating with a snark comment that Crabbe probably didn't the necessary brain cells required to understand, Dan just sighed and apologized to Snape for zoning out.

"Well, Mr. Howell, just to make sure you understood the concept, I'd like you to write thirteen inches on the topic that was taught today." Snape said, looking at Dan with an " _I win_ " type of look in his eyes.

"Yes, Professor," Dan replied angrily. It was completely unfair! Crabbe and Goyle fell asleep in class almost everyday, and yet they didn't have to write thirteen inches about, about... Dammit, Dan didn't even know what he was to write about!

"In fact, why don't you all?" Snape pondered, Dan could feel the eyes of his fellow students boring holes into his head. "Yes, thirteen inches from all of you, due tomorrow," Snape decided. The whole class groaned as they were dismissed.

Dan quickly stuffed his things haphazardly into his bag. He stormed out of the classroom before the others did, trying to avoid all of his angry classmates (finally he had a reason to be thankful for his long albeit clumsy legs). He kept his head down and walked as quickly as he could, attempting to avoid all eye contact. Since he was basically a giant compared to the other students at Hogwarts, it was difficult to get through the crowd without running into a few people. He half-heartedly apologized to every other person he accidentally pushed or tripped over, not really caring too much.

He made it to the Charms classroom in record time, arriving five minutes early as opposed to late. He sat down at his desk, pulling the books he needed from his bag as he waited. With a deep, overly-dramatic sigh, Dan ran his hands over his face and through his hair, messing up the carefully parted fringe and giving himself a quiff. He would've laughed at his reflection in the gilded candlestick next to him if he weren't so upset. He was busy staring dejectedly at himself to notice the fabulous wizard who'd sat down next to him.

"Uh, you told me you wanted to do something new with your hair, but that's not the way to go, bitch," laughed Tyler. The short wizard fixed his own perfect lilac hair as he sat down, and attempted to fix Dan's. Dan ducked his head away and fixed it himself, still pouting.

"Babe, if you pout any harder, your mouth might fall off," Tyler said, grinning at Dan. "Alright, what happened in Mr. McGreasy's class?" He sighed once he noticed Dan wasn't returning his grin. Dan gave a short chuckle at the nickname.

"I kinda fell asleep and now he's making us write about whatever the hell we learned today," Dan huffed, rubbing his temples. Tyler pulled his book, parchment, quill, and wand from his bag before turning back to Dan.

"Wait, us? Do you mean-“

"Yeah, he's making the whole class do it, thirteen whole inches," Dan exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. Tyler raised his eyebrows and whistled.

"Wow, babe, your class must hate you right now," he said, giving Dan a small pat on the back. "You were with the Ravenclaws, right?" Dan nodded, "Yeah, as smart as they are they hate extra work."

"Yeah, I know, Tyler, you don't have to remind me," Dan said, putting his head down on his folded arms.

"And what do you mean 'whatever the hell we learned today'? Were you asleep all class?" He asked incredulously, once again fixing his already impeccable hair.

"Not all of it but most, and why do you sound so surprised? It's not like I haven't fallen asleep in class before, and it's not like you haven't either," Dan voice was muffled by the sleeves of his robe. He pulled himself back up and rested his head on his hand, looking at Tyler sleepily.

"Why are you so tired?" Tyler asked wiggling his eyebrows, "Was it Phil? Did he keep you up late last ni-"

"Oh my God, Tyler," Dan interrupted, his cheeks bright red, "for the last time, Phil and I are just friends, we're not screwing arou-"

"Who's Dan screwing around with?" Joey asked, sliding into the seat in front of his roommates. He turned around in his chair to face the two and propped his face on his one of his hand, drumming the fingers of the other on the back of the chair (Dan noticed he'd his nails were a different color than they had been that morning). He simply grinned when Dan threw a murderous look at him.

"Who do you think?" asked Tyler, dodging the slap aimed for his arm.

"Phil?" replied Joey. Tyler nodded and Dan groaned. "Oh my goodness gracionious, Dan, just admit that you're in love with the boy already so we can help you get your man," Joey said, wagging his eyebrows as Tyler had.

"Yeah, bitch, admit it, because the longer you hold it in, the worse it'll be for you," Tyler agreed, "and plus, the longer you take to go for it, the more of a chance that someone'll come and snatch him away." He said, once again messing with his hair.

Coming out to them was the best and worst thing he could've done, and Dan remembers it like it was yesterday. It had been about a three years now that Dan had told Tyler, Joey, and Phil about his being bi. The four boys had all decided to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas break (Casper had left to be with his best friend Joe and the Sugg family) and had basically the entire Slytherin and Hufflepuff common rooms to themselves. They went on crazy adventures, played pranks on each other, and just enjoyed being with friends. Dan was ecstatic to see his new Slytherin friends getting along with his best friend. It was almost midnight on Christmas eve when the boys decided to start a game of truth or dare.

It had started like any other game, with the boys daring each other to go into the girl's supposedly haunted bathroom or to pull Mrs. Norris' tail. After a close almost-encounter with the school's caretaker, the boys decided to take it back to the Hufflepuff's common room. Seeing all the yellow-clad students slowly moving away made Dan laugh. To think that they were convinced the three Slytherins were bad people was ridiculous (though it didn't help that Joey and Tyler had entered with a faux glare and snarl).

Soon enough the common room had been nearly deserted, leaving the four boys to continue with their shenanigans. Instead of dares, however, the boys decided to stick with just truths. Joey went first, admitting that he wasn't actually a pureblood, but instead a half-blood; Phil regaled them with the tale of how he knew a guy who'd bitten a chunk out of his girlfriend's neck; and Tyler came out to them (though that wasn't much of a surprise).

_"Speaking of sexualities," said Tyler, a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Dan, are you actually straight, or what?"_

_Dan choked on the pumpkin juice he was sipping. The question was unexpected to say the least, and he wasn't sure how to answer it. Dan had been suspecting for a while now that he wasn't fully straight, if at all. He'd always find himself mesmerized in the Quidditch locker room with their captain, Marcus Flint, yet, he wasn't nearly as interested when he accidentally saw Pansy Parkinson changing. After a brief, slightly awkward silence, Dan spoke back up._

_"I-uh I'm not too sure, I think bi, but maybe not," Dan could feel a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks. Tyler smirked._

_"I knew it!" he turned to Joey triumphantly, "That'll be ten galleons, my good sir," Joey pulled a small leather pouch from the inside of his robes and handed it to Tyler, grumbling as he did._

_"Wait, you two bet on whether I was straight or not?" Dan asked, giving his friends a disbelieving look._

_"Yeah," Tyler giggled, "Dan, honey, you've got to make your gawking at hot guys a little less obvious if you don't want us to start making bets," Tyler's expression turned serious once he noticed Dan wasn't laughing with him._

_"Dan, c'mon, Tyler and I were just messing around, we're sorry," Joey said, wrapping his arm around Dan and rubbing between his shoulder blades. "It's alright that you're not sure what your sexuality is, you're only thirteen, after all. You've got plenty of time to figure it out." Joey reassured._

_Phil had stayed very quiet throughout the whole exchange. He looked up at Dan with a small smile and took his hand. Dan's heart beat the slightest bit faster (which he didn't appreciate very much)._

_"They're right, Dan. It's fine to be confused, normal even, I'd say," Phil reassured with another soft squeeze before he let Dan's hand go._

_"Anyway," Tyler said mischievously, "Phil, it's your turn, truth or truth?"_

"Hello-o-o, earth to Dan," Tyler's hand was waving rapidly in front of Dan's face.

"Sorry, I kinda zoned out, what were we talking about?"

"We were just putting the finishing touches on Project Get-Dan-His-Man-So-He-Can-Be-Happy," Joey said while scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment.

"What are you writing?" Dan asked, ignoring his previous comment.

"The different stages, duh. Also we're gonna have to do something with that name, it's too inconvenient to say every time," Joey said, scratching his head.

"Oh!" Tyler exclaimed, "How about PG, but only ironically of course, because what ever they'll get up to definitely won't be P- ow! Dan, that hurt!" Tyler rubbed at the spot on his arm where Dan finally managed to land a hit.

The rest of the class had already taken their seats as Professor Slughorn hurried in, one of his favorite "collectables" in tow.

"Alright, students, settle down, turn in your books to page 207, today we'll be talking about Babbling Potions," Tyler turned to his book, only after slipping a small note onto Dan's book that read, _Phil+Dan 5Ever <3_.

Dan simply rolled his eyes as he settled into his chair, trying (and failing) to stay awake.


End file.
